Happy Birthday

To someone,



Lately, images of you come to mind more often than I can care to admit. Flashes of you holding the laundry in front of the Whirlpool washing machine waft through my head without invitation. Just after dinner today, I picked up a transparent plastic container and saw pictures of you and me on a boat rowing around the Burnham Lake. Two weeks ago, I was eating in a fastfood chain and the song that remind me of you the most blasted through the airwaves. A day after that, the song is heard once more in a shoe store. Gosh it is haunting me!! It is even an old song.

Maybe because it is your birthday month. Each year, I was used to thinking about ways to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY starting a month before the actual annniversary of your birth, but now, i can not greet you anymore. I can only hope that your firends and loved ones have been able to make your day extra special. I miss you so much, and I cannot deny it when I am all alone. I cannot turn my back on the fact that after every pain you have caused me, I still haven't found a friend who could fill what you were to me.

On most days, I am swamped with all the responsibilities that I got myself in to. I can push you in to the inner recesses of my hearts to bury somewhere in the pulsating muscles. When the day gets tough and I am without a friend who understands me, I really am close to tears and hoping that I can run to you instead of the solitude of my room. Today, someone said I was a selfish person thinking only of myself and how I worked hard. I felt crush and tried to explain myself. But then was rudely cut off....that is when it clicked...you know and understand me. You can comfort me because you know what I go through on most days, and you do agree with me on a lot of things...You understand me because we are two people in the world who are most misunderstood by people whom we care for.

I know you will not be able to read this. Even worst- I know that I will not be able to see you ever again. And the last picture I have of you is on your birthday. I know I will never trust anyone more than I do you. And though, I cannot greet you on your brithday, in my heart of hearts, I am always hoping and praying that wherever you are, you are happy on your birthday and always.

Missing you always,

your friend