Quote for the day...

Since I added this feature, I myself am curious as to what will be the words of wisdom posted. This one sounded quite good and though provoking. I copied and pasted it below so that I will be able ot read it once in awhile.


Quote for the day- Dec 30.
Faith is the force of life.

Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

Another New Year

And it means the season is drawing to a close. Last Sunday, we went to one of the small malls in the area. I noticed that the mall has Christmas trees on the fountain, and they are white. I decided to take a picture through the glass panel from the third floor. It kinda looked cool.

And it also means there will be smoke in the air and ear blowing sounds from the fire crackers. In the Philippines, firecrackers are easily available to anyone. Most of those who enjoy setting them off are usually children below 12. It is easily accessible in the near bye sari-sari store. I can't help but wonder so many things.

1. How is it thay they have money to buy firecrackers when they complain that they do not have enough food on the table?
2. Even if it is something dangerous, the more they are drawn to it.
3. What satisfaction is there from setting off something to blast off the eardrums?
4. Despite the images of people on tv who have been victims of a firecracker gione awry, it seems people would still use them

May be I cannot relate because I was musch to scared to try one. The closest that I got were the lucis and the fountain other than that I leave it to my cousins to set off. I just hope that families would prioritize and buy food or something remotely more useful than firecrackers.

Anyway, no matter what you do for the New Year celebrations, have a blessed, prosperous and happy one! =)

This Year's Christmas

Christmas day is drawing to a close. My family and I decided not to cook all the food at once, but take opportunity of the break to eat hot home cooked meals instead of buying from the nearest restaurant or packing lunch that turns cold by lunch time. Besides, since there are only three people in the household, we end up eating left overs until January. That is how much we cook during the hols. So, people around the house seemed to be tamad, I told them we will just eat what we planned a day at a time. It is more practical that way, and it spreads the cheer to other days too.

Here is hoping that no matter where you are and what you decide to do to celebrate, you are having a Merry Christmas!

Christmas Gifts part 2

It is the thought that counts...

Nothing is as exhillirating as receiving gifts in shiny wrappers and dazzling ribbons. it is even more exciting to open them. Over the years of receiving gifts, I always feel giddy when I receive one. I am a gifts person according to my love language. I feel loved and appreciated by the way people give me gifts. That is how I express myself, too, by buying something, wrapping it and giving it to family and friends.

This year, people all over the world is feeling the pinch of the economy turning in to a slump, I feel happy that friends go out of their way to put you in their Christmas list and set aside money to buy you something. Thank God for the gifts, but I also would like to take time to appreciate the people behind them most specially. It is not the gifts, not even just the thought but the people who take time out and care enough to send me something in this time of economic crisis. I also hope that people who were able to receive presents from me felt that along with it comes my sincerest love and concern. I hope that they know that I tried my best to make sure that it is something that they might at least like or find useful at one point or the other. With every gift comes not only the greetings.

Christmas Gifts part 1

Over the years, we, Filipinos, always make it a point to exchange gifts every Christmas. Be it a part of the Kris Kringle or simply as a tradition done between family and friends who use the season as a reason to organize reunions. Over the years, I usually start my Christmas shopping early to avoid problems like traffic, overcrowded malls, out of stock items, high prices and all the things that go with trying to procrastinate for Christmas gifts. Even if I start early, I still end up with buying stuff in December(that is a matter for another entry, I guess.)

I once asked people why we give gifts to each other when it is not our birthday but Jesus'. Shouldn't we be giving him gifts instead? The various responses that I got was bordering from me being ridiculous or me being disrespectful of tradition. The best answer that I got was something that I was probably looking for. We give gifts to each other because it is like giving gifts to Jesus since we are in his image and likeness. That was the answer I wanted to hear because I was trying to find out if people really know why we are going though everything.

Over the years, I have been giving and receiving gifts from family, friends, and acquaintances. I just hope that we remember one of the reasons why we do exchange gifts. Remember that it always starts in the manger some 2000 years ago in Bethlehem. I know it is cliche, but it is the common truths that we often take for granted.

Christmas is So Near

For starters, let me just say that I am a Christmas person.

I like giving and receiving gifts.

I like eating the foods.

I like going to early morning masses.

I simply just like Christmas.

What about you? Do you like Christmas too?

Musings from a Crashed System

Recap: My laptop had a system crash and needed to be restored to its factory settings meaning farewell to all the files -both personal and business files plus programs that I have added in the span of a year. Vista was the only one in my computer.

Needless to say that it was all because of a vista service pack update.

Here goes me- being a contemplative in daily life....hehehe whatever you might want to call this.

I was talking to a friend on the phone telling her that I had a stomach ache maybe from all the tension that I felt for my laptop's sudden problems. I said it was quite ironic that this should happen not because of a virus but because of an update. We all have an impression that an update is supposed to make the system better. It should improve the capacity of the software to be more usable. In fact, I am no stranger to vista or even HP signaling that there is a new software update and that I need to restart to install it. There had not been any problem until the last update two weeks ago.

I realized that sometimes some things that we thought are for the good can actually yield the opposite effect. It is like having a boyfriend. Though, you thought that you did everything for him and tried to please him, you still ended up being dumped. The usual line goes "How could you do this to me?" sob sob "Have I not been a good girlfriend? What did I do to deserve this?" more sob sob...

According to my friend, it was funny how I could have thought about that in the midst of my computer crisis. And I said..."That is really what I feel at this point."

I also felt empty since the laptop has been a source of virtually everything for me at this point(do not tell me you cannot relate to this.) It has been an entertainment system-my songs are in the music folder and my pictures are there, as well; a pensieve for memories - my journals and my pictures again and text messages; a communication center where I can reach those who are a thousand miles away; and lastly, my work station- need i say more? As I told another friend, it felt like losing a part of me. It is like sneaking in to the night and stealing my journal...

Anyway, I seem to be rambling...Btw, I have made up my mind. I am getting an external hard drive, and I will burn folders every week or month to a cd...

Worst Nightmare

Last Sunday two weeks ago, anyone's worst nightmare happened to me. I was trying to cool down a bit after working for a long hours that week. Before I went out of the house, I checked my email and decided to cleanup some of my files. There was a persistent pop up that kept on informing me that vista service pack 1 has been downloaded, and it is recommended that I install it to enhance the performance of my computer. I ignored this the previous days since I was quite busy. Last Sunday, I gave in and clicked install. After it was installed, the computer was asking me to restart. A pop up was saying that it would be restarting in 10 minutes unless I choose another option. I clicked the pop up to override the ten-minute mark to just wait for me to log out since I was also on my way out.

So, I shut down after while and went out of the house. I came back and decided to turn on the laptop again. Instead of the usual welcome message asking me to write my password, I was greeted by the message that the computer had a problem starting up. I was kinda scared and did not know what to do but still clicked on the options and saw that I might need a system restore. I knew that I can actually do it myself, but I need to ask some clarificatory questions. Foremost of which is will it destroy all my file.

Come Monday morning, I packed my laptop and brought it somewhere people would know what to do. They were supposed to do it for me, but it turned out that in my haste i forgot the recharger, and the operation would take more than what the battery pack can take. I went home after being assured that there is an option that will be able to help me get my files back. Two options actually. I also asked why this happened to my computer and turned out the diagnostic report was saying that it was because the service pack seemed to be incompatible with my system. They were thinking that I might have service pack 2 already that made service pack 1 unnecessary.

I felt sad over that discovery because I never thought that any upgrade from vista would lead to my computer crash. I have seen computers crash because of visuse and malfunctioning hardware. This however is the first time I realized that it could happen to upgrades also. My laptop has been with me for a year. It has not given me any problems, and I try my best to make sure that it is well taken cared off. who would have thought that an upgrade that is supposed to improve it made it go awry.

While at home, I tried to do system recovery but it kept on saying that there was not enough memory to do it. I felt devastated and tried other stuff. I tried doing back up of my documents, but the computer would ask for a flash drive at the end to put the documents but would not recognize my flash drive every time I try to connect it. I tried so many times to back up, but it would not work. Finally, since it has taken so much of my time, not to mention it is making me miss work, i decided to just go on and do a system restore that will bring it back to its factory settings meaning goodbye files and programs that I have installed. I had to take a deep breath knowing that there are still some files that were not backed up yet. It felt sad because some of my poems were there and were not saved in other medium.

There are programs that I am comfortable in using, though they maybe obsolete. I scoured computer stores for installation cd's, but they all told me that it is not on sale anymore. I had to be more creative in procuring them. After two days, I was able to get the software I need to be able to work. At this point, I have not totally restored drivers like the Nokia business suite nor I-tunes. I was still busy still trying to work on missed work hours.

(it took days to be able to write this in detail...at this point, the anger and the pain dissipated, but the memory lingers on...whew...never mind.. I will write a part two on what I learned... very far from what happened...hehehe)

The Best Pick Me Up

I was working hard these past few days, and most of the time, I did not have enough sleep. I realized that I can actually stand the lack of sleep for most part, but for prolonged periods, I realized that I do get depressed. I feel like crying, but since I am not that into crying, the tears would not fall anyway. Thoughts that make me feel sad just flashed through my memory. I decided to reach out for a few pieces of kisses. As it settles in to my tounge, the sensation was enough to shoot to my brain and make me feel better. As in, tons better.

I guess it is true. Chocolate is a good pick me up. It has properties that make people happy, even for a bit.

Hit The Nail

I was reading through something and could not quite pinpoint what was wrong with the essay. I was sure that there was something wrong, though.

After 3 rereads, I finally got it. Eureka!!! It was an essay with a lof of information, yes; however, all the information does not answer the main question. It was quite furstratiing. It is as if you are looking upon heaps of choices of clothes and could not find the magic in each of them.....haay it was quite draining and tiring..

Happy Birthday

To someone,



Lately, images of you come to mind more often than I can care to admit. Flashes of you holding the laundry in front of the Whirlpool washing machine waft through my head without invitation. Just after dinner today, I picked up a transparent plastic container and saw pictures of you and me on a boat rowing around the Burnham Lake. Two weeks ago, I was eating in a fastfood chain and the song that remind me of you the most blasted through the airwaves. A day after that, the song is heard once more in a shoe store. Gosh it is haunting me!! It is even an old song.

Maybe because it is your birthday month. Each year, I was used to thinking about ways to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY starting a month before the actual annniversary of your birth, but now, i can not greet you anymore. I can only hope that your firends and loved ones have been able to make your day extra special. I miss you so much, and I cannot deny it when I am all alone. I cannot turn my back on the fact that after every pain you have caused me, I still haven't found a friend who could fill what you were to me.

On most days, I am swamped with all the responsibilities that I got myself in to. I can push you in to the inner recesses of my hearts to bury somewhere in the pulsating muscles. When the day gets tough and I am without a friend who understands me, I really am close to tears and hoping that I can run to you instead of the solitude of my room. Today, someone said I was a selfish person thinking only of myself and how I worked hard. I felt crush and tried to explain myself. But then was rudely cut off....that is when it clicked...you know and understand me. You can comfort me because you know what I go through on most days, and you do agree with me on a lot of things...You understand me because we are two people in the world who are most misunderstood by people whom we care for.

I know you will not be able to read this. Even worst- I know that I will not be able to see you ever again. And the last picture I have of you is on your birthday. I know I will never trust anyone more than I do you. And though, I cannot greet you on your brithday, in my heart of hearts, I am always hoping and praying that wherever you are, you are happy on your birthday and always.

Missing you always,

your friend

Redundancies

I have started to donwload some songs to my phone which turned out to be a blast. It had its own speaker and can be heard wtihin the confines of my room if needed plus it has an fm radio, as well. Just then I wondered why I had to go out of my way to download the songs that were actually in my Ipod already or my Ipaq. Then I realized that it seems like we are moving in to redundancies in our lives.

Imaigne the gadgets that occupy our bags with multiple and even overlapping uses. My phone aside from the music function has a tv and camera. Why do we need a separate digi cam if the phone actually has even a video function? Wierd but it seems that we are having certain redundancies in life.

We have all these things. We still want more. I know cause I can feel it. Despite the fact that I already have a laptop to use for work and recreation needs, I am still itching to get a more portable Asus EE which was is said to be not only lightweight but safer to carry around. Why I want that is something beyond me. How will I find time to use it? I do not know too at times.

In my mind, the great debate goes on...Sometimes our things have overlapping functions, and yet we insist that we need each one...we have each and every one...we carry them wherever we go...I would not be a hypocrite because I must admit that as absurd as it sounds, I think I always end up finding the time to use each and every gadget in each an every possible way....haah there goes my realization...

On My Desk...

I have been trying my best to find the perfect mix for my workspace at home. I have gone to different websites for guidance and all that. At the end of the day, I need to just make do with what I already have and make it as comfortable and as inspiring as I could make it since I spend hours in front of it.

On my desk right now are the following things that may or may not be directly related to my work: There is my laptop off course sitting on a notebook cooling pad, the usb hub, the Ipod case, a picture frame with my ticket of the premiere of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix(yes, I love Harry Potter) , a pencil holder with a Gossip Girl post card, a Hello Kitty mouse pad and a Hello Kitty book holder which has most of my paper, specially if they are read from time to time or urgently needing my attention. Just wanted to document my workspace hehehe. Who knows? Hopefully, sometime soon it would be picture perfect!

words that are in my blog right now

Got this from wordle.net

The big words supposedly are the ones I used most. The smaller ones every so often. I liked the way it look somehow...

Try it.

Seems my prediliction is ONE!!! Click on the picture below to see a bigger version and to try it out.


© 2008 Jonathan Feinberg
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Response to comments to "A Snob and a Half"

First of all, thanks to anonymous and mimi for taking time out to read my previous entry. My gratitude for the comments, as well.

I have been thinking about the comment from the anonymous reader. Well written; I must say. It brought to fore some things that I realized make me shun away from adding people I do not know. Maybe some stories would be quite useful.

1. Somewhere in my youth or childhood...

"Do not talk to strangers."

My mother drilled that to me countless of times. She said they might be kidnappers or rapists. I am sure a lot of us would be familiar with this admonition. We are trained to be wary that anyone approaching us might be the big bad wolf. Let us just say I have been a good trainee.


2. high school life:

"You are a doubting Thomas."

This was a line our high school counsellor told me when she was trying to assess my aptitude, interests, and personality. I did not tell her otherwise because I do think she nailed it. I was even back then often skeptical trusting only a few people with my secrets and desires. Needless to say, I did not even see anything wrong with that. Maybe that is who I am that is why it takes a longer time before I can trust someone around me much less someone I have not even met.

3. In the recent past:

"You will just never know where you will find love"

One of the closest person in my life, got to know his wife through the friendster. He actually asked the girl to become her contact, then they started to regularly correspond to each other. They were a thousand of miles away from each other, but they claimed to be feeling a sort of connection with each other.

True to form, I was skeptical. I kept my doubts to myself. I know that my best friend will not lsiten to me anyway. When they finally met, they started dating and became a couple then got engage in a matter of less than a year. They said they could not wait. They both felt, "This is it!" He was even egging me to take a chance on looking for someone via the internet, as well saying I have to take a chance cause you will never know. The then happy couple and some friends thought it was gonna be happily ever after. Lo and behold, after month of being married, skeletons in the closet started to smell. Soon, they were on the verge of breaking up and all that. The girl was crying 24/7. All I could tell my friend is-"I knew it." Enough said, I guess. (whatever happened to them is a topic for another post.)

4. In the here and now

"I am still a snob and a half!"

Wonder if people remember the term -snob in a half. It was from the movie Clueless. (I like that chick flick!)

Anyway, I am torn. people would say I am not open to different possibilities. The comments of the anynimous commenter and mimi's are the two things that I have been mulling about. These comments have shown the dichotomy of the thoughts going on in my mind about these things. Truth be told, I really choose people I associate with. Whatever!

Mimi, nice to know I am not alone in my adding-people-I-don't-really-know-phobia.

Wonder if this post even makes sense.... lol...actually this took two days to write

A Snob and a Half

I realized I have been posting about food more than anything else.

This one is about something else. hehehe

Last night, I opened my e-mail and found a friendster invite from someone who is not familiar. I quickly logged on to my friendster account to see who it was. Sometimes, some of my friends use aliases when forming these accounts, but upon seeing the person's homepage, I realized that I do not know him. Perusing his profile, our paths would have never crossed. This is the nth time I have received an invite from someone I am not familiar with. I honestly feel flattered that they should take an interest in adding me as a contact. I am also amaze at how they would just click and add people they have not even seen. As a rule of thumb, I do not approve people I do not know. I am very cautious and old fashioned when meeting people. I do not chat with strangers. I do not add people I do not know to my contact list. I wonder if I am the one who is missing the point in the social networking scheme. Should it be that way? Is it really a means to get to know other people or just use it to keep in touch with family and friends from far away? Maybe I am just really a snob and a half.

Scouring for Food

My mom and I went to the new mall near our neighborhood. I wanted to buy some supplies and gifts for friends who are about to celebrate their birthday. We were looking around for a place to eat before going home and everything was packed with people- from the fast food to middle priced restaurants. I had to go to the quick eats at the shopping center. I have discovered this cheap rice and meat rolls meal. It is just Php 35.00 per order, and somehow it satisfies hunger without being hard on the pocket. I have been eating there thrice already since September 5.

Finding my Solitude

I have always been around people.

One weekend, I decided to do something on my own. I went to a neighborhood donut store and ate in peace. In between bites of caramel and oreo donuts, the solitude came as there are a few people in the store.

And besides, i do like donuts. I even have my own donut maker at home.

forgotten themes

I had a lot of things I wanted to write about. Due to some circumstances beyond my control, the writing moment seemed to have pass me by. It happens when you have a Eureka moment or a nagging thought; it just has to be written down as soon as possible or else it will pass you by.

I wanted to write about some experiences, but I have not found the time. Now, even the words escaped me. haay...

Untittled

Sometimes, there are just so many things to do that even sleep is a luxury. I usually try to build a routine that I can follow for at least months, if not a year. Lately, I have been having an erratic routine that I haven't eased my way to things that I must do. Too many things have sprang up on me that has disrupted my routine. The problem with the internet connection, my mother catching flu etcetera etcetara...am not really whining ...i just needed some way to blow off some steam...something like that...

On a lighter note, I noticed that my camera phone is not so bad after all. I guess I can use it to my advantage. The pictures posted here are all taken using that camera phone. I realized I better try using it more...I am usually contented with using the text messaging ang the call feature but a camera is not that bad.

The World is a Better Place

... after dessert
... after a good night sleep
... after a refreshing bath

An Odd Feeling

My internet connection had some problems with the adaptor. I had to wait for a really long time just to have it exchanged by the internet company. Anyways, the thing is internet has been such a part of the household that I am so used to it being a part of my day...oh well something like that. I missed surfing and blogging. I missed emailing my friends chatting with them. I guess not having an internet connection in this day and age makes one feel odd...It has surely been a part of our daily lives.

A Little Piece of Heaven

Last Thursday, there were just so many things to do and so many people to talk to. It seemed like it was a really hard day. I decided to give myself a break. On the ground floor of the building where my office is located is a little store that sells great tasting and moist chocolate cakes. It can wipe away the scowl on some people's face. It can make them feel a bit better about things. For a moment, as you sink your teeth to this delight, you know that you have been given a brief reprieve from everything else. What about you? What is your little piece of heaven?

once a year beauty

This flower blossoms once a year. After that, the branch dies, and a new one is reborn to take its place. I guess it is not so bad to take a year to produce something as beautiful. Maybe it is worth it to die after doing so. Or something like that.

You are What You Listen To

A friend from college was surfing the net and somehow found my Multiply site. Talk about nothing to do on an early evening. Anyways, the first thing that she did was peruse my blog and read, among all things, an entry with a list of songs that I never tire of listening to. Out of all the other entries that I have; not to mention, this being the first thing she did before even adding me as a contact. She also left a comment saying that one of the songs I like is something she enjoys, as well. I reallized that she was lured to that blog entry because it was about my type of music. I guess among the best way to know where the person is at a particular point in his/her life is to ask what is the theme song of his/her life. Moreso, to know a person more is to listen to what he/she has on his/her MP3 player.


You are what you listen to...I dare say that it is indeed true that music is the language of the soul. Whatever issues in life as of the moment can be echoed in a song. The deepest desires of ones' heart will be found in the lines of a song. It is not just because the song is in vogue. It is not just the catchy tunes but moreso the feelings and the memories evoked by the song. It might be the song playing on your first date or when you first laid your eyes on that special someone. It might be the song that you sing to at the top of your lungs with your best buds. It might be just the last song that you heard before you shut the radio and made you feel quite good. Point being-music shows who you are.

Tell me what you listen to, and I will tell you who you are.

The Marvels of Blogging

I remembered writing in my journals as a teen ager every night or so. There was a time when I will buy those diaries with lock and key hoping that nobody would be able to look in to my secrets. Some of my friends frown upon internet blogging. They say that some thoughts are private and that a blog is like advertising one's self. If one wants to write about ones thoughts and aspirations, then one should use the trusty old journal that is under lock and key.



I am at two minds about it. I do believe that some things are private. I do believe that some thoughts should be kept probably typed in a document that has a password. A part of me screams that one should be generous with ones thoughts so that other people could learn from them. It is not so easy to talk about life in general, but everyone could benefit from one's thougths. Call it a contribution to the world. Who knows how one reflection or ideas might affect even a person's life?

I come across a person's blogs that does not talk about anything too detailed that could possibly embarrass some people in her life, but the reflections are quite personal and very helpful. Since, I have decided to blog, I am also finding ways to make this more interesting for people who might wander through this pages. I am trying to find out how I may learn HTML. I am trying to look for HTML for dummies and maybe even dabble in photoshop a bit. I have been far too interested in computers and lay outing for far too long that some friends think that I might just have the aptitude for it(well, I guess that was in comparison to them.) I have been trying to push MS Word to the limit to work for me. = ) Anyway, I seem to be ranting...the point really is blogging is a way to share things from photographs to memories and maybe just maybe our blogs can help us change the world one person at a time. It sure makes the world become smaller than it trully is.

Blogs have been for me a way to touch lives of those whom you know and don't. In my own little way, I am making an attempt to reach out.

You know you are old when...

. . . you hear the songs that you listened to as a child revived by new artists,

. . . you hear people say that you do not look your age(it definitely means you are old)

. . . you meet people who say " i would like to introduce you to my son, nephew or friend; you might end up liking him. Come on, let me set you up."

. . . you receive text messages from your younger cousins asking for advice;

. . . you do not want to celebrate your birthdays anymore;

. . . you write lists like this...

you are definitely getting old...I really am...

The Fence Sitter

In our family, we often have strong opinions about things happening around us. When we get started on something, it seems we would never end until we have exhausted all the sides of an issue. Lately, it dawned upon me, what is the use of us talking about all these stuff? Nothing changes just because we are talking about it. We are simply looking in. We are fence sitters. We sit on a fence and look at the expanse of activity whirling around us. We comment. We argue. We discuss. We criticize. We react. We hardly do anything. That's what we often are- fence sitters.

Are you a fence sitter too?

Welcome to Dragon's Draft

Welcome.



A blog has been brewing in my head for a long time. Helping people write their essays made me realize how blessed I have been to be able to put words together confidently and hopefully, sensibly. I really have a secret desire to be published one day. I know I chickened out on a Creative Writing class because most of my classmates were already published at their tender age of 18, and that fact intimidated me. It would have been a good chance to learn, practice and get ready to be published.



With this blog, I just want to share my thoughts and sentiments. I know somewehere somehow you may echo some of them or even say "Is that ever possible?" I hope to be able to post from time to time(I guess I would be able to write at least once a week).

Thank you for visiting my blog! Hope you drop by again soon.

And so, let the journey of the dragon begin...

Let the drafts document the journey...